Fingers Crossed

Got the 2 lines on the OPK on Valentine's Day!! LH Surge, meaning ovulation can happen anytime between the next 12-48 hours. So, hubby and I have been busy! :-) But hubby was very busy with work also, I hope that doesn't affect our chances. Now, nothing to do, in my DPO stage, just gotta wait. Having my fingers crossed.

DH part 2

DH:

I was still upset.
U knew something was wrong…
I couldn’t take it anymore last nite. I told u that I wanted to do an IUI next month, as it’s too much effort to try naturally.
U laughed and asked if it’s because of the lingerie.
So I told u how I felt about it.
And u got angry, u started lecturing me.
U said, “I told u what type I like – I like tight fitting lingerie that shows your body. Instead u bought what YOU like!!!”
And I told u that what u like was not available.
And u said “So what? So u buy what YOU like?”
This did not go how I wanted it to go.
This morning I tried to tell u that I am depressed since taking Clomid, and u started it again: “Am I supposed to KNOW that u r depressed? Am I supposed to just guess it?”
Sigh. So much for being open and honest.


I wonder why God made it so hard to conceive. Why does it have to have a sexual act for it to happen? Cos when u don’t have the mood, u don’t want to do it…. And then there can be no baby if u don’t do it.


I gotta snap out of this mood, fast!

DH

DH:


U told me that u wanted me to get some lingerie for this month.
U told me it will help if we have fun this time instead of being so focused on a mission like last month.
So we went shopping over the weekend but u could not find anything u like (except a piece in Xixili costing 200 bucks!)
I pointed out some cheaper alternatives and u said they all looked cheap.
I asked u if u liked black or wt designs etc, u just mentioned that u don’t like those with big open straps at the back or an opening in front.
U like sexy yet not trashy.
Then u find this website that sells lingerie, and it uses American models.
American models with their 38DD boobs.
I’m not like them!! I will not look as good in something so clingy cos it’ll only show what I lack instead of what I have!!
But, I was willing to try…. But they didn’t have stock of the pieces u like.
So, what now? We wait for a few months for the stock to arrive?
Then what about this month??
So I went shopping yesterday after work. Tried on many, many pieces.
Finally settled on 2 that I thot was nice…. I bought 2, not just 1!!
Took a black, and another white+red. I thot 1 black for a sexy look and 1 white+red for a not as sexy but more demure look.
And what did u say about them?
“Oh, its ok but its transparent!” u said about the black piece with it’s matching black lacy G-String.
And u look at the white+red with such repulsion, it was as if I bought a cotton T-shirt with teddy bears on them! U look like I was choking u with that piece.
So I told u, “If u don’t like it, I can change it to something else.”
And u said, “Yes, pls take it back. Please change it…….”
And u had to add, “Obviously we have such different tastes. This is not nice!! It’s not even a nice colour…. I mean, it’s white wt an ugly red for Heaven’s sake!!”
Thanks. Just thanks a million for your support.
Thanks a million for appreciating my effort.
Thanks a million for all this while buying me tonnes of lingerie to suit YOUR taste and make me know what u like.
Thanks for pointing out the “nice” ones while we were shopping last weekend so I know what u like.
Thanks a million for making me feel like an absolute fool.
And for what? For 10 mins in that lingerie? U know very well u’ll want it removed in less than 10 mins. So what was all that fuss for?
And u know what, u don’t even make an effort for yourself!! U wear ugly singlet and old shorts, and expect to look so hot in them and make me get turned on! Did I fuss? Did I ask u to buy something to make yourself look better and then scorn at it, like u did to me??
Why is it the women that have to dress up and look good for the men? Why can’t it be equal? And for just 10 mins in that stupid fuckin lingerie, u made it feel like I had such awful taste.
Well sorry if I cant read your mind. Sorry if u don’t have the guts to walk around malls looking at lingerie and therefore don’t point out what u like, so I can buy it. I’m not a mind reader. I know I’m not sexy enough for u to get turned on by just looking at me. And now I know I have such awful taste in clothes too.
If I had my way, I’ll just do an IUI. I don’t need all this Baby Dance “at the right time” every month, cos I’m not good enough for u!!!
If I could get pregnant without your help, I’ll just go for the IUI this month itself!!
But I’ll just let it be for this month. To Hell with it! Screw it!! I don’t need to put myself down in order to have a baby. Don’t u know, mood and emotions affect everything?!!! If I am down, THERE WILL BE NO BABY!!!! Your mind and body needs to be ready for it to happen!
So screw it. We’ll do IUI next time. U can look at some porn, and shoot into a cup. That’ll be all. Thank you.

Double of Everything

Since Dr Prashant gave me 2 months supply of Clomid, I decided to buy 2 months supply of OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) and Pre-seed Lubricant. So, if it doesn't work this month, I will try for another month.

Anyway, I came across this advise on a website on Feng Shui to aid conception. (What the heck, why not have all the "powers" to assist us, including Feng Shui!)

"It is advisable to display animal ornaments, symbols or subjects in a painting in pairs. Pairing symbolizes marital union."

Hmmm, pairing symbolizes marital union. I don't have any pairs of figurines or ornaments in my room, but hey, I have 2 of these in my bedside drawer:

Clomid

Ovulation Predictor

(I bought Guardian brand, it was cheaper than Clearblue and I'm sure it does the same thing!)

And, 2 boxes of Pre-seed Lubricant

Lastly, don't know why I did it, but I bought pregnancy test. A box of 2!! I really hope for BFPs from these 2 test kits:

I'm now ready for the month ahead!!

Stars

What do these stars have in common?

Britney Spears (born: 1981)
Nicole Richie (born: 1981)
Kourtney Kardashian (born: 1979)
Jamie Lynn Spears (born: 1991!)


They all have a child / children!!
And, they were not exactly planned kids either.

Britney Spears gave birth to her first child, Sean Preston Federline, on September 14, 2005. Just two days before Sean's first birthday, she gave birth to her second son, Jayden James Federline on September 12, 2006.

Nicole Camille Richie has two children: daughter Harlow Winter Kate Madden (born January 11, 2008) and son Sparrow James Midnight Madden (born September 9, 2009), with husband Joel Madden.

Kourtney Mary Kardashian has a son, Mason Dash Disick, born December 14, 2009, with boyfriend Scott Disick. This was not a planned child for Kourtney.

Jamie Lynn Spears is the most controversial. She gave birth to a daughter, Maddie Briann Aldridge, on June 19, 2008, when she was 16 years old. It hit the news worldwide as it was a teenage pregnancy – A baby having a baby!!


How is it they are so fertile? Or how did it happen when they didn’t intend for it to happen? How come those who don’t expect it get blessed with a child?

Stress!

I had the worst Saturday ever, in a long time anyway.

We met up with hubby’s friends on Saturday night. They are mostly a year younger than us, and got married 1 – 2 years after us. And, they’re all with children!! It was so super distressing, watching the friends with their daughters, or hearing about another one who has a 4-month old at home, and about another who has a 1+ year old child and just delivered another (how fertile!!) and, about one who got married 7 months ago and the wife is 7 months pregnant now! Man, we feel so “behind time”. I mean, these are the folks who got married AFTER us, and they’ve all settled down in life.

So where did it go wrong for us both? Well for starters, when we got married 3.5 years ago, we were not ready for a child yet. I just changed jobs one month before my wedding, and wanted one year to establish myself. And then, we were renting an apartment only. I wanted to move into our own house first before having a baby.

But then a year later, we hadn’t moved yet, and then I got another job offer. If I took the offer, it meant a better job and more money, but another year to wait before trying for a baby. We discussed it and we were ok with it. One year after that we started trying (we just went off contraceptives) but it didn’t happen. Of course, I think our lifestyles were to be blamed too. I was traveling for work quite a bit, plus most of the time we’re just tired.

If you ask me, I wish I did things differently. I wish I just didn’t bother about “waiting” and just tried from the very beginning. Life wouldn’t be as stressful as it is now. I’m so worried now that the stress of “trying” while we are on Clomid will take its toll on us.

And there’s always something to be done, somewhere to go, work gets in the way etc. I want to be stress-free and relaxed with my husband, but it doesn’t seem to happen. I will feel like an absolute failure if I don’t conceive within the next 2 months. Guess there’s nothing much I can do about that now. Gotta hope for the best, and really hope & pray God blesses us real soon.

Poem

Saw this poem at a hospital board, when my sis went in for delivery. Re-read it again recently (I saved it in my phone) -- it's very touching.

Where did you come from, baby dear?
Out of the everywhere into the here.

Where did you get those eyes so blue?
Out of the sky as I came through.

But how did you come to us, baby dear?
Got thought about you, and so I am here.....

Sleep

Sleep.... It has deluded me for a while....
I can't sleep properly at night. I am constantly dreaming about getting pregnant, about implantation.... Even dreamt that my best fren was pregnant (and she isnt even trying for a baby!!)
So what does this mean for me? Am I thinking too much?

It's all well and good when we say "Oh well, we're trying... When it happens, it happens..." and then get on wt our lives.... But when we get so in touch wt our body and our cycle, when we know (and predict) what's gonna happen next, when we gonna ovulate, when to have sex etc, that's just too much thinking & knowledge, right? How not to get stressed out?

I'm into my 2nd month of Clomid now and am wondering if it will help me. What is my problem anyway? Well firstly my periods were never very regular so it was hard to know when I'm ovulating and therefore when to do it to make a baby. So Clomid is supposed to help. Along wt the Clearblue Fertility Monitor. But then we worked at it accurately last month, so why did it not work?

I have friends who tried and within a month or 2, they got pregnant. So how was it possible for them and not me? Is it stress? Are we too stressed at work and in our lives that even a baby doesnt wanna come for us now?

I really hope it works out for me this month, or latest next month. I want to be pregnant by my next wedding anniversary which is in May. And I want to deliver my baby this year, when I am still 32. Age is catching up.

I AM STRESSED!!!!

:-(

Research and More Reseach

Just some things I found while googling:

http://www.justmommies.com/articles/how-to-get-pregnant.shtml

How to get Pregnant Faster - Top Ten Tips

Tip # 1. To get pregnant faster have sex three times a week.
Having regular sex is the best way to get pregnant. Couples often try to time everything perfectly for ovulation but do not have sex when they think they are not ovulating. It is true that sex that is not within the time of ovulation will not result in pregnancy. However, because women do not always ovulate when they think they will, having sex three times a week will help a woman to cover her bases, so to speak, and not miss an opportunity to get pregnant.

Tip # 2. To get pregnant faster use an ovulation prediction kit or fertility monitor.
Using an ovulation kit to predict when you are ovulating will improve your chances of getting pregnant. For many women charting or other methods of ovulation prediction are too confusing. Ovulation prediction kits work by reading LH surges prior to ovulation. They are relatively easy to use and are generally accurate for predicting ovulation. Fertility monitors, such as the Clear Blue Easy monitor, are also a worthwhile investment if you would like to get pregnant faster. Fertility monitors are similar to ovulation prediction kits in that they read changes in LH but they also read changes in other hormones and don’t require any guesswork for couples. They are easy to use and will tell you when the best time to get pregnant is.

Tip # 3. To get pregnant faster have sex before ovulation (not after).
Sometimes couples get confused about the best time to have sex in relationship to ovulation. You have a small window of time each month to get pregnant. After a woman ovulates the egg will survive approximately 24 hours. Sperm, on the other hand, will live for up to three to five days. This is why having sex two to three days before ovulation will increase your chances of getting pregnant. Don’t wait until the day you ovulate to have sex. Your partner’s sperm will last longer than your egg and you don’t want to miss an opportunity by waiting.

Tip # 4. Don’t rely on the Calendar method for predicting ovulation.
A lot of couples have heard to have sex around day fourteen of your cycle. This is based on the calendar method and assumes that you have a regular 28-day cycle and ovulate mid-cycle. Although this is better than just picking an arbitrary day to have sex, it is not a very accurate way to predict when you ovulate. Many women do not ovulate on day fourteen and knowing precisely when you ovulate will help you time intercourse better. Ovulation prediction kits, looking at previous months bbt charts, or watching for signs of ovulation will help you to determine when you ovulate.

Tip # 5. If you want to get pregnant faster, don't rely on fertility charting alone to predict ovulation.
Fertility Charting is great for tracking your cycle but it does have disadvantages. By the time you can see ovulation on a bbt chart, you have already ovulated. It is good to chart so you can track your cycles, see if you ovulate the same time each month, and also so you can look back on your cycle and see if you timed things right. But if this is your first cycle trying to get pregnant or if you are not ovulating at the same time each month, an ovulation prediction kit would be more helpful.

Tip # 6. Before you start trying to get pregnant see your doctor.
Make sure you are in good health and have had a regular check up from your OBGYN or medical provider. Untreated infections, sexually transmitted diseases, or poor health can affect your chances of getting pregnant. Its good to see a doctor as well as start taking prenatal vitamins prior to trying to conceive.

Tip # 7. When trying to get pregnant, don’t smoke, drink alcohol, or abuse drugs.
This may seem like common sense but many women do try to get pregnant while smoking, drinking or using drugs. Smoking, drugs, and alcohol can affect your fertility. It will also affect your unborn child. It is important to stop smoking or using drugs and alcohol before getting pregnant and not wait until you find out you are pregnant.

Tip # 8. To get pregnant faster have enjoyable sex.
Sometimes when couples are trying to conceive, sex becomes a job or function of reproduction and is not as enjoyable. Plan a romantic evening or try something different to spice things up. How you are feeling sexually may factor into your chances of getting pregnant. Some researchers believe that having an orgasm during sex increases your chances of getting pregnant. For women, the spasmic movements of orgasm will help pull the sperm into the uterus and for men a better orgasm may increase the man’s sperm count.

Tip # 9. Have sex in positions that keep sperm inside the vagina longer.
The missionary position is a good position to use when trying to get pregnant. Avoid positions where the woman is on top. Gravity will allow sperm to leak out with these positions. Also try placing a pillow under your hips to help tilt your pelvis and keep the sperm in longer. Don’t get up right after sex. Try to relax and allow the sperm to stay in the vagina as long as possible.

Tip # 10. There is no such thing as trying too hard to get pregnant.
Most couples get pregnant within a year of trying. If you have not gotten pregnant within a year consult your doctor for advice.


http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/getting-pregnant.html

Tips on Getting Pregnant

Ditch the pill
Yes, the first thing is to forget about contraception. You may notice certain irregularities in your cycle and may take a few months for your cycle to return to normal. But many women are fertile the first month after they stop taking the Pill. The same holds true for the contraceptive patch and ring.

Fuel up on folic acid
Folic acid is a synthetic form of folate, a B vitamin that can help reduce the risk of serious birth defects that affect the brain and spinal cord. For this reason, the FDA recommends that all women attempting pregnancy take folic acid supplements for decreasing chances of birth defects.

Quit smoking, drinking and drugs now
Smoking or taking drugs greatly diminishes your chances of getting pregnant and can lead to miscarriages, premature birth, and low-birth weight babies. Plus, research suggests that smoking can affect your fertility and lower your partner’s sperm count. In fact, studies have shown that even secondhand smoke may affect your chances of getting pregnant. It is also recommend that women avoid alcohol when trying for pregnancy.

Cut down on Caffeine
Research shows that too much caffeine can reduce your ability to absorb iron and increase your risk for stillbirth. Avoid coffee, tea, and colas or switch to decaf to increase your chances of getting pregnant. If you are a complete caffeine junkie, then the safe limit would be a cup a day. Try switching to a milkshakes which will boost your calcium as well and assist in conception.

Get your weight in check
Healthy weight women have an easier time getting pregnant than overweight or underweight women. Studies show that women whose body mass index (BMI) is below 20 or above 30 have a harder time getting pregnant, so it’s a good idea to try to get yourself into the 20 to 30 range before you start trying.

Timing is Everything
You will have little chance of getting pregnant if you had sex on the wrong days and missed the most fertile ones. Figure out your ovulation days with our ovulation calendar to increase your chances of conception. Read our articles on Ovulation and Signs of ovulation to assist you in knowing your fertile period. Ovulation predictor kits can also help you figure out when you’re ovulating by detecting hormones in your urine that signal ovulation is about to occur.

Mind Control
Women who suffer from depression are twice as likely to have problems with fertility as women who don’t. Get a mental health check if you notice signs of depression. Also, try stress management techniques, such as yoga and meditation, which research suggests can also help in getting pregnant.

Buy something sexy
Some experts say that if a woman is highly aroused while she’s having sex, the sperm has a better chance of fertilizing her egg. Others say it makes absolutely no difference. It definitely wont hurt and may even help in boosting your libido and killing that awkward feeling of having sex for pregnancy.

Positioning yourself
Many experts suspect that the missionary position (man on top) provides the best opportunity for getting pregnant, though no definitive studies have been done on this question. This position allows for the deepest penetration which deposits sperm closer to the cervix. For additional effectiveness, the woman can try elevating her hips with a pillow so her cervix is exposed to the maximum amount of semen. Other positions could be Rear entry and lying side-by-side. Avoid woman on top, standing, or leaning positions, which discourage the flow of semen to the uterus.

Increase the Odds
Make your vaginal environment as sperm-friendly as possible. Avoid vaginal sprays and scented tampons, artificial lubricants, and douching. Not only can they cause infections, they may wash away cervical mucus or create a hostile environment for the sperm.
If you find that your cervical mucus is not as conducive of getting pregnant as it should be, you may want to try a specific type of lubricant. Pre-Seed lubricant is the sperm friendly choice of many people trying to get pregnant. After intercourse, elevate your hips on a pillow for about fifteen minutes.

For your man
Ask your partner to chuck all briefs and opt for boxers instead for a healthy sperm count. Also, having sex in the morning would help since the semen has the highest number of sperm then.

Finally
Getting pregnant isn’t always easy. Very few couples conceive on the first try. In fact, even if everything is absolutely in perfect working order, you only have a 20-25% chance of conception each month. If you are under 30, and haven’t conceived in 12 months, you should make an appointment to see your doctor as there could be some issues at play with are preventing you from getting pregnant. If you are over 35, and haven’t succeeded in getting pregnant in six months, make an appointment to see your doctor, as infertility issues become more prevelant the older you get. If you are over 40, then do not delay in getting medical help.


http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/tips-for-trying-to-conceive-the-natural-way.html

Tips for Trying to Conceive the Natural Way

Are you trying to conceive the natural way? If so, consider the following tips to help you prepare your body for pregnancy. When you are healthy your body will be better prepared for conception and it will happen more readily.

Detoxify
The first thing you will want to do is detoxify your body. The best way to do this is to go off hormonal birth control methods and stop eating foods, especially meats and dairy, with added hormones. Consider eating natural and organic meats, dairy products, and vegetables. These artificial hormones can make it difficult to conceive for some women, so detoxify your body!

Relax
You will want to just relax and get your body, mind, and soul in a positive place. When you know you are ready for a new baby and that he/she will fit in your family perfectly then you can relax and let nature take its course.

Herbs
There are many herbs that can help you conceive. If you feel like you or your partner may need some help in this area, or if you have been trying for a while, consider some of the fertility herb blends for him and her.

Lose Weight
Some women find it difficult to conceive because they are overweight or obese. If you fit into this category start a weight loss plan to help you get some of the weight off. This is important for your health and pregnancy, as well as a healthy life, so learn some good eating habits now so you can put them to use for the rest of your life.

Exercise
Starting a fitness routine is a great way to get into shape. Not only will it help in your weight loss efforts, but it will prepare your body for pregnancy and delivery. Exercise is important for a healthy lifestyle and can help you conceive so start today.

New Month, New Hope

This is officially Month 2 of trying (with the aid of KL Fertility). I have spent RM1370 in total so far at KL Fertility and no baby yet.

I went to see Dr Prashant again this morning. He was very nice. He said no one can tell for sure why a person does not get pregnant. He said the good part is, we have established that Clomid works on me. And therefore, I can continue with Clomid. He said we need to make some decisions, if we want to keep trying before opting for other methods. Hubby & I have already decided, we will try at least another 1 - 2 months first. So Dr Prashant said that he will give me 2 months supply of Clomid. I can get the Clearblue Fertility Predictor from Guardian. And that if I don't see any surge, then I can come in for a scan. Other than that, I don't need to come in again as he has checked that Clomid gave me 2 follicles and that the uterine lining was ok.

Guess we will try for 2 months more. Will need to get the Fertility Predictor and Preseed Lub. Whatever that works now!!

When I was young, very young, I used to think that God KNEW when you got married and he will GIFT you with kids. Thought that the higher powers up there just decided how many you should have, and when. You just became pregnant. Maybe I was influenced by Mother Mary!

Anyway how I wish it was like that now. That it would just happen, instead of all the effort....

Still, I gotta be hopeful and gotta be less stressed. Gotta make it work.

Only One Line...

OK, so these past 2 weeks have been just CRAZY. Just wondering if I am pregnant or not. Stressful!!

I was having PMS symptoms on Fri & Sat so I started to freak out. I had some stomach pain, just the kind I have before I start my period. So I bought a pregnancy test on Sat afternoon and took it on Sat evening. Somehow just before I took the test, I knew it would be negative...

The first line appeared rather fast. So I waited for the second line to appear... I waited and waited... And there was NO second line. Sigh..... I knew it!! I was not pregnant.

My period came on Sunday morning........