Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The reason for my silence...

I have disappeared from the scene for the past 2 months. No I did not go into hiding…
The fact is, I’m pregnant! Yes, am 15 weeks now. I couldn’t believe it when I did the test in early March. I immediately went to a doctor but they didn’t confirm it. I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks (by another doctor, a female gynae) where she confirmed the pregnancy sac. Then another at 8 weeks where she confirmed the heartbeat – it was amazing. I was still gripped wt fear though. Dr Prashant recommended me to go to Dr Yap at FMGC (Fetal Medicine & Gynecology Centre in Jaya One, PJ) for the First Trimester Screening at 12 weeks. So we went and it cost us a bomb! Paid RM650 in total for blood test, ultrasound and consultation. Dr Yap did an ultrasound to measure the nuchal translucency – a measurement of the fluid at the baby’s neck to see if the baby has a risk of having Down’s Syndrome. Luckily it was ok. But she advised me to do a blood test also. The analysis came back as my risk is 1:1200, therefore no invasive procedure is recommended….

Only after I finished all these tests and confirmation (by 13 weeks) was I ready to inform others that I was pregnant. I told my family members (though my parents and sister already knew earlier) and informed my colleagues and friends. They were surprised cos I didn’t say anything earlier, but I had fear in me.

I have been ok. I think morning sickness should be re-labeled as “evening sickness”. I start the day fine and as the day progresses, I get nausea, vomiting and backache! And I’m terribly tired everyday esp by night. My doctor says I should be feeling better and more energetic soon, and I certainly do hope so.

I’m sorry for my silence. Since I started telling out 2 weeks ago, I was thinking that I should update this blog, but I had no mood or energy.

To all those out there who are trying – you can do it! Put your mind to it, time it well, and make sure you are relaxed. You will hit jackpot soon.

Monday, March 1, 2010


I wonder how women survive the 2WW (2 week wait) -- before they can do a pregnancy test. We do everything we can, and then we wait, and wait, and wait... It's almost killing me. I don't want to test early cos am afraid I'll jinx it. Yet, I wish I knew already.

So anyway I did some "research" on the net and came across this helpful advise:


Am I Pregnant?

This question is one that most women ask, whether they're trying to conceive or trying not to conceive. Among those who are TTC (trying to conceive), it's usually a crazy two weeks between their ovulation or the fertility treatment they've gone through until the pregnancy test.
Many women spend these two weeks (more commonly known as 2WW or the two-week-wait) trying to figure out if they could be pregnant.
Every little thing can become a 'definite' sign in either direction - "I'm not nauseous, so I couldn't possibly be pregnant." or "My breasts are sore, I must be pregnant."
Surviving the two week wait is tough. You try not to think about it, but you can't get it out of your head & everything reminds you of it... At times it's almost like that's the only thing happening in the world.
Unfortunately, it takes time to find out. In this world where we're so used to having phenomenal amounts of information instantly at our fingertips, it seems odd that to find out something so important takes so long...
After fertilization (which generally happens in the fallopian tubes), it takes time for implantation. Even after IVF, implantation doesn't take place immediately. Some embryos begin to implant and then don't develop. Some begin to develop but aren't strong enough to continue. This is why, even though some HPTs (home pregnancy tests) or EPTs (early pregnancy tests) say you can test even before your missed period, it isn't always the best idea... You could get a faint positive 2 days before you miss your period & then get your period a few days later because the pregnancy didn't take. If this happens, it's not usually a sign that anything's wrong & it doesn't mean anything about what will happen next month.

TTC without fertility treatments:
You can know pretty accurately when your ovulation is. If your period is regular, you can calculate that it's between 11-16 days before you expect your next period (generally around 14 days) & if it's not regular, you can buy ovulation tests & use them to find out when your ovulation is. You can test for pregnancy 15-16 days after a positive ovulation test, or 14 days after ovulation.


What about the 14 days *before* I can test?
It's rare to have any symptoms until at least a week after ovulation or embryo transfer.
If you're taking progesterone, it can mimic pregnancy symptoms or it can also make you feel like you're period is on its way.

You might be pregnant if you're having symptoms that keep getting stronger such as:
• Tenderness in the breasts
• Fatigue
• Frequent urination
• A general feeling of "something different"
• A sensitivity to scents
• Headaches
Note that morning sickness frequently starts only in the 5th or 6th week of pregnancy!
You might be pregnant even if:
• You don't have any symptoms
• You feel like you're getting your period (though strong cramping is usually not indicative of pregnancy)

In the meantime:
• Plan fun things to do
• Enjoy the fantasy that you might be pregnant
• Take good care of yourself -- eat healthy, drink enough water, sleep well

Good luck!

Disclaimer: The information on this page is provided for informational purposes only and is not intened to be medical advice. If you have any questions, make sure to consult with your physician.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fingers Crossed

Got the 2 lines on the OPK on Valentine's Day!! LH Surge, meaning ovulation can happen anytime between the next 12-48 hours. So, hubby and I have been busy! :-) But hubby was very busy with work also, I hope that doesn't affect our chances. Now, nothing to do, in my DPO stage, just gotta wait. Having my fingers crossed.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

DH part 2


I was still upset.
U knew something was wrong…
I couldn’t take it anymore last nite. I told u that I wanted to do an IUI next month, as it’s too much effort to try naturally.
U laughed and asked if it’s because of the lingerie.
So I told u how I felt about it.
And u got angry, u started lecturing me.
U said, “I told u what type I like – I like tight fitting lingerie that shows your body. Instead u bought what YOU like!!!”
And I told u that what u like was not available.
And u said “So what? So u buy what YOU like?”
This did not go how I wanted it to go.
This morning I tried to tell u that I am depressed since taking Clomid, and u started it again: “Am I supposed to KNOW that u r depressed? Am I supposed to just guess it?”
Sigh. So much for being open and honest.

I wonder why God made it so hard to conceive. Why does it have to have a sexual act for it to happen? Cos when u don’t have the mood, u don’t want to do it…. And then there can be no baby if u don’t do it.

I gotta snap out of this mood, fast!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010



U told me that u wanted me to get some lingerie for this month.
U told me it will help if we have fun this time instead of being so focused on a mission like last month.
So we went shopping over the weekend but u could not find anything u like (except a piece in Xixili costing 200 bucks!)
I pointed out some cheaper alternatives and u said they all looked cheap.
I asked u if u liked black or wt designs etc, u just mentioned that u don’t like those with big open straps at the back or an opening in front.
U like sexy yet not trashy.
Then u find this website that sells lingerie, and it uses American models.
American models with their 38DD boobs.
I’m not like them!! I will not look as good in something so clingy cos it’ll only show what I lack instead of what I have!!
But, I was willing to try…. But they didn’t have stock of the pieces u like.
So, what now? We wait for a few months for the stock to arrive?
Then what about this month??
So I went shopping yesterday after work. Tried on many, many pieces.
Finally settled on 2 that I thot was nice…. I bought 2, not just 1!!
Took a black, and another white+red. I thot 1 black for a sexy look and 1 white+red for a not as sexy but more demure look.
And what did u say about them?
“Oh, its ok but its transparent!” u said about the black piece with it’s matching black lacy G-String.
And u look at the white+red with such repulsion, it was as if I bought a cotton T-shirt with teddy bears on them! U look like I was choking u with that piece.
So I told u, “If u don’t like it, I can change it to something else.”
And u said, “Yes, pls take it back. Please change it…….”
And u had to add, “Obviously we have such different tastes. This is not nice!! It’s not even a nice colour…. I mean, it’s white wt an ugly red for Heaven’s sake!!”
Thanks. Just thanks a million for your support.
Thanks a million for appreciating my effort.
Thanks a million for all this while buying me tonnes of lingerie to suit YOUR taste and make me know what u like.
Thanks for pointing out the “nice” ones while we were shopping last weekend so I know what u like.
Thanks a million for making me feel like an absolute fool.
And for what? For 10 mins in that lingerie? U know very well u’ll want it removed in less than 10 mins. So what was all that fuss for?
And u know what, u don’t even make an effort for yourself!! U wear ugly singlet and old shorts, and expect to look so hot in them and make me get turned on! Did I fuss? Did I ask u to buy something to make yourself look better and then scorn at it, like u did to me??
Why is it the women that have to dress up and look good for the men? Why can’t it be equal? And for just 10 mins in that stupid fuckin lingerie, u made it feel like I had such awful taste.
Well sorry if I cant read your mind. Sorry if u don’t have the guts to walk around malls looking at lingerie and therefore don’t point out what u like, so I can buy it. I’m not a mind reader. I know I’m not sexy enough for u to get turned on by just looking at me. And now I know I have such awful taste in clothes too.
If I had my way, I’ll just do an IUI. I don’t need all this Baby Dance “at the right time” every month, cos I’m not good enough for u!!!
If I could get pregnant without your help, I’ll just go for the IUI this month itself!!
But I’ll just let it be for this month. To Hell with it! Screw it!! I don’t need to put myself down in order to have a baby. Don’t u know, mood and emotions affect everything?!!! If I am down, THERE WILL BE NO BABY!!!! Your mind and body needs to be ready for it to happen!
So screw it. We’ll do IUI next time. U can look at some porn, and shoot into a cup. That’ll be all. Thank you.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Double of Everything

Since Dr Prashant gave me 2 months supply of Clomid, I decided to buy 2 months supply of OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) and Pre-seed Lubricant. So, if it doesn't work this month, I will try for another month.

Anyway, I came across this advise on a website on Feng Shui to aid conception. (What the heck, why not have all the "powers" to assist us, including Feng Shui!)

"It is advisable to display animal ornaments, symbols or subjects in a painting in pairs. Pairing symbolizes marital union."

Hmmm, pairing symbolizes marital union. I don't have any pairs of figurines or ornaments in my room, but hey, I have 2 of these in my bedside drawer:


Ovulation Predictor
(I bought Guardian brand, it was cheaper than Clearblue and I'm sure it does the same thing!)

And, 2 boxes of Pre-seed Lubricant

Lastly, don't know why I did it, but I bought pregnancy test. A box of 2!! I really hope for BFPs from these 2 test kits:

I'm now ready for the month ahead!!


What do these stars have in common?

Britney Spears (born: 1981)
Nicole Richie (born: 1981)
Kourtney Kardashian (born: 1979)
Jamie Lynn Spears (born: 1991!)

They all have a child / children!!
And, they were not exactly planned kids either.

Britney Spears gave birth to her first child, Sean Preston Federline, on September 14, 2005. Just two days before Sean's first birthday, she gave birth to her second son, Jayden James Federline on September 12, 2006.

Nicole Camille Richie has two children: daughter Harlow Winter Kate Madden (born January 11, 2008) and son Sparrow James Midnight Madden (born September 9, 2009), with husband Joel Madden.

Kourtney Mary Kardashian has a son, Mason Dash Disick, born December 14, 2009, with boyfriend Scott Disick. This was not a planned child for Kourtney.

Jamie Lynn Spears is the most controversial. She gave birth to a daughter, Maddie Briann Aldridge, on June 19, 2008, when she was 16 years old. It hit the news worldwide as it was a teenage pregnancy – A baby having a baby!!

How is it they are so fertile? Or how did it happen when they didn’t intend for it to happen? How come those who don’t expect it get blessed with a child?