No Surge!

Ok, I did the OPK yesterday and today, and both days there was only one line. No second line. Nada. I stared at it long and hard... Do you know how depressing it was? I have done pregnancy tests a few times already (when my period was late) and it was the same now! I willed for the second line to appear but it didn't. Is God playing some sort of cosmic joke on me?! I thought at least with an OPK, I can see 2 blue lines, but even the OPK refused to make me happy....

So where does that leave me? Does it mean I'm not ovulating this month? Clomid will help the follicles to mature but it not necessarily will release the egg. Am scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow morning, guess I'll find out then.

When the OPK was negative yesterday, I was afraid if I took it too early in the morning, and hence decided to still "get together" with my hubby (I find that statement very amusing, LOL!) last night, just in case. Didn't want to miss the boat once again. It was stressful, as he had to work at night, but we had a "job" to do. He's been very supportive so far, but I can't help feeling depressed. Afterwards, I just lay there (as I have read that we should lie down for at least 15mins - why let gravity work against those swimmers?!), and I could't help tearing... Why is it so hard for us?

Dr Prashant said that some couples immediately try IUI when on Clomid, as they are fed up and just want to have a  baby. Others opt to try naturally first. He said most younger couples prefer to just try by themselves first, once Clomid regulates the cycle. But Clomid didn't seem to regulate my cycle this month.... So how long should I try "naturally" before opting for IUI? Am afraid as IUI is expensive too, and there's no guarantee. Just a 15-20% success rate.

I wonder how long it would take for me to get depressed and give up, or would I be one of those who keep persevering nonstop -- do anything to get a baby? And this is just my first.... What happens when I want another baby?