"Symptoms" can make you go crazy!

Ok I know I said I won't update til I have something to update - whether it was Clearblue or Laurier this month-end, but I guess I just needed an avenue to say some things.

Symptoms - Yes there are plenty of symptoms to look out for when you're TTC. Firstly is symptoms of ovulation so you know the "right timing". And then, it's the symptoms to see if you ARE pregnant.

So what do we "look out" for? Well I did some "research" (more like googling!!) and found these on http://www.surebaby.com/signs_of_pregnancy.php:

1. Missed Menstrual Period
A missed cycle can be a sign of pregnancy. It is usually the first indicator that conception has occurred, although some women claim to know they are pregnant before they miss a period.

2. Morning Sickness
Nausea can be a sign that a woman is pregnant. Many women say that they've had nausea up to two weeks before an expected monthly cycle and before any other symptom. Eating crackers before getting out of the bed in the morning can help and eating several smaller meals instead of larger ones can help with nausea.

3. Tender Breasts
Tender swollen breasts are another early symptom. While tender breasts are a symptom of an impending cycle, enlarged breasts are not. Sore and swollen breasts with a tingling sensation can be an early indicator of pregnancy.

4. Fatigue
Extreme fatigue can be another indicator of pregnancy, especially if other symptoms are present. A nap a day can help a pregnant woman maintain normal daily activities.

5. Frequent Urination
An increased urge to urinate can be an indicator and usually occurs between 6 to 8 weeks out.

6. Pregnancy Headaches
Headaches in early pregnancy are a common symptom and begin at about the 6th week. A quick nap can help diminish headaches in pregnancy. Preeclampsia or toxemia can begin with headache and can be dangerous to a pregnant woman. If you are pregnant and have this symptom, be sure to call your health care provider immediately

7. Spotting
Spotting is a common symptom in pregnancy. Some women report what seems to be a short light period before the onset of other symptoms. This may be implantation bleeding and not a monthly period at all (when the egg implants itself into the lining of the uterus). If you are pregnant and you experience spotting check in with your doctor as spotting is also an indicator of miscarriage in early pregnancy.

8. Light Headedness
Some pregnant women experience actual fainting and light headedness. Again, this is usually not an issue past the fourth month of pregnancy.

9. Constipation
Hormonal changes can affect the digestive system and cause constipation. Drinking plenty of water and exercising can help. A pregnant woman should ask her doctor for recommended exercises while pregnant.

10. Heartburn
Heartburn can be a symptom in months 1-9. In months 1-4, heartburn is caused by hormonal changes. In months 5-9, the baby can cause pressure on a pregnant woman's organs. Eating frequent smaller meals and remaining in an upright position at least an hour after eating can help.


Well that's beneficial if someone realised they were late, and now is wondering if they are indeed pregnant. But how about someone who's period is supposed to be due soon, but is hoping that she is pregnant? Then what symptoms to look out for to see if she should continue having any hope for this month? Breast tenderness? I get that all the time as part of my PMS. Headaches? I suffer from migraine at times. Nausea? I have wind + gastric problem so it's common to feel a little nausea. So then, what next?

I guess I just gotta wait until my period is overdue (hopefully!) and then test with a home kit.

I'm going crazy, hoping I'm pregnant and wondering if I'm confusing "hope" with that "feeling that you know you ARE pregnant"! How do people just "know"?

And what if I'm not? Then I need to start all over again this cycle....

Where does this leave us?

So, where does this leave us?

We went to see Dr Prashant again on last Friday, since I did not see the surge on Wed or Thurs. He decided to test it one more time before scanning me. Lo and behold - there were 2 lines!! I didn't quite see it as he only showed it to me as both the lines were appearing, but my hubby said he saw both the lines. I wish I saw it - would've been my first "2 blue lines"...

Anyway, Dr Prashant scanned me this time and said the endometrium lining is good now. Just at the minimum of what is ok but ready for implantation. And since we had the surge, he said I would ovulate the next day.

We decided to try naturally for this month first instead of IUI. Am not mentally prepared yet for IUI. So Dr Prashant asked us to do it "today and tomorrow", quote unquote him.

So, we had a busy weekend!! I read on some websites that they advise you to do it on the day of the surge plus the next 2 days, and another day for "insurance".... It was tiring! Cos I think we knew we were working on something and not just having fun. Big mistake!!

I also read that they advise they lady to lie down for at least half hour after that, well I decided not to stand up at all and just remain lying down until I fell asleep for the nite! Well, anything that works...

Am keeping fingers crossed and hoping for the best. Am afraid to get my hopes up too high... But dont think I have the energy to repeat all the ultrasounds and tests again another month.

Will update again early Feb. Will know by then whether I needed ClearBlue Home Pregnancy Test, or Laurier pads for my monthly!!

More Costs from Month 1

We went to see Dr Prashant again last week, another ultrasound and OPK.
So the cost this time (Visit 5) was RM 180:
RM80 - Consultation
RM80 - Ultrasound
RM20 - Clearblue OPK

Interesting Facts

I Googled alot about fertilization and implantation. Trust me - I now know more than I ever knew before!!
It's interesting how we were made to believe that the sperm can live in the woman's body for up to 5 days. But, the catch is, that has to be under ideal situation. Ideal meaning fertile cervical mucus. And I also checked on how long does it take the sperm to reach the Fallopian tubes... Some websites say about 5 - 6 hours... OMG, imagine swimming that long!! No wonder some of them give up!!

More facts - once the ovum is released from the ovary, it travels halfway done the fallopian tubes and waits (most of the time for about 24hours) for a sperm to fertilise it. And a sperm only needs to bump into the egg for the fertilization to take place. Once fertilization takes place, it's then called a zygote, and it starts to multiply, becoming a ball of cells. This is called a blastocyst and it will make its way down the uterus in 3 - 4 days, and finally implants itself onto the uterus lining - implantation. Only after a successful implantation is a person pregnant!

Costs - Month 1 of trying

Just a breakdown of what we've paid so far:
Visit 1: RM470 (Consultation RM100, Ultrasound RM100, Blood tests for me RM270)
Visit 2: RM410 (Consultation RM80, Ultrasound RM80, Semen Analysis RM100, another blood test to check on insulin level for me RM150)
Visit 3: RM90 (Consultation RM40, Clomid RM50)
Visit 4: RM220 (Consultation RM80, Ultrasound RM80, 3 ClearBlue OPK RM60)

The address of the centre:
KL Fertility & Gynaecology Centre
Suite 604, 6th Floor,
Wisma Perintis,
47 Jalan Dungun,
50490 Kuala Lumpur.
Tel: 03 - 2093 3500 / 2093 4500

Website: http://www.klfertility.com/

No Surge!

Ok, I did the OPK yesterday and today, and both days there was only one line. No second line. Nada. I stared at it long and hard... Do you know how depressing it was? I have done pregnancy tests a few times already (when my period was late) and it was the same now! I willed for the second line to appear but it didn't. Is God playing some sort of cosmic joke on me?! I thought at least with an OPK, I can see 2 blue lines, but even the OPK refused to make me happy....

So where does that leave me? Does it mean I'm not ovulating this month? Clomid will help the follicles to mature but it not necessarily will release the egg. Am scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow morning, guess I'll find out then.

When the OPK was negative yesterday, I was afraid if I took it too early in the morning, and hence decided to still "get together" with my hubby (I find that statement very amusing, LOL!) last night, just in case. Didn't want to miss the boat once again. It was stressful, as he had to work at night, but we had a "job" to do. He's been very supportive so far, but I can't help feeling depressed. Afterwards, I just lay there (as I have read that we should lie down for at least 15mins - why let gravity work against those swimmers?!), and I could't help tearing... Why is it so hard for us?

Dr Prashant said that some couples immediately try IUI when on Clomid, as they are fed up and just want to have a  baby. Others opt to try naturally first. He said most younger couples prefer to just try by themselves first, once Clomid regulates the cycle. But Clomid didn't seem to regulate my cycle this month.... So how long should I try "naturally" before opting for IUI? Am afraid as IUI is expensive too, and there's no guarantee. Just a 15-20% success rate.

I wonder how long it would take for me to get depressed and give up, or would I be one of those who keep persevering nonstop -- do anything to get a baby? And this is just my first.... What happens when I want another baby?

Why is it so easy for some?

I'll admit it, I'm terribly jealous of those who can conceive so easily. Why is it we read about the 16-year old who had sex for the very first time with her boyfriend, and got pregnant, and then had to drop out of school etc to look after that unplanned baby? Is it "luck" on their side?


When you drill down into the details of "getting pregnant", you realise that timing is everything. Timing, good swimmers, a non-hostile environment down there, and a good lining for implantation. Now tell me, how did that 16-year old get everything so right in our eyes? (And so wrong in the eyes of others!!)


I've a friend who conceived her first in the first month of trying, and the second in the 2nd month of trying. Wow wee, how lucky!! If I'd known that it would be so hard for me, I would've tried from the get-go, and saved so much $$$ cos I wouldn't have bought condoms!!


People used to tell me - "Dont plan. Dont mess wt God cos then God will mess with you." In other words, when you want, God wont give. Is this true? Is this our punishment for planning that we didnt want kids yet in the first 2 years of our marriage? It's pretty sad then.....


So I hope God is listening now cos I want a child. I want to get pregnant, I want to have a healthy baby in my belly and hold that baby in my arms.... I never thought that it would be this tough, and it's worse emotionally! It's depressing, having to go to a specialist, having everything out in the open, getting scanned to check on follicles, uterine lining... Using a Ovulation Predictor Kit for LH surge etc! What happened to "letting things happen when they happen?"


Ain't gonna be that way for me......

Timing is everything!

We went to see Dr Prashant Nadkarni again today. He was very upbeat! (Maybe it was still early in the morning...) He had a trainee sitting in on the session.


He did Ultrasound, and he found a dominant follicle in each ovary. We also did a LH surge check (using Clearblue Fertility Kit), however there is no surge yet. I'm in Day 13 now, and this cycle seems to be different from last month. He asked me to check on the LH surge again over the next 2 days and to come in when I see a positive. If within the next 2 days, there is no positive, I'm to come in on the following day as this test may not be effective on me.


The ultrasound also showed slight thinning on the uterus.... It should be "nice and fat" for implantation. Dr Prashant said it could be an effect of Clomid (it is known to have this side effect), or it could be that it is not yet ovulation time and hence it is still a bit thin. In any case, I am to be scanned when there's an LH surge.


I asked him about the next step once there is a positive. He said I can opt for IUI, or my hubby & I can try the normal way first if we want to, as it's our first cycle on Clomid. He advised to "be together" over the next 2 days to catch the ovulation! :-)


I read up on the net - the best times to have intercourse after an LH surge is on that day, and 2 days after... And as "insurance", another additional day. Man, timing is everything!! Ovulation is supposed to occur 24-48hours after the LH surge, with the best times being 36hours after the surge.


How do we get it so accurately then? I guess for newly-weds, they can be at it like rabbits, hence their chances are better!! :-)

Month Long Journey

It's been a month and it's been a long, tiring journey.



I made a deal with my hubby, that if we dont get pregnant by Dec (notice how I said "we" - I wanted him to know that this is a team effort), then we will go to see a fertility specialist in Dec. I wanted to know if there was something wrong with us, before we started the new year.



We went to see Dr. Prashant Nadkarni at KL Fertility for the first time in December 2009. I read up on the website: http://www.klfertility.com/, that he advises to come in for an Ultrasound during the first week of menses.



This is the first time I had an ultrasound. No doubt, I always thought that when I see an O&G specialist for an ultrasound, it'll be done on my tummy to see my baby. This was not the case though. He did an transvaginal ultrasound to check on the ovaries. I later read up that this is done to assess the antral follicle count, to check on your ovarian reserve. I also did a blood test (results out later).



I was very stressed after the check-up. I was certain there was something wrong wt me. He didn't say it specifically, but he indicated that. Sometimes, google is bad, as I read up too much on Ovarian Reserve etc. I was convinced there was no hope for me, and that I would have to go for IVF (which we can't afford!) or just adopt!



The next visit, they did a sperm analysis on my hubby. Yeay for him - he's good, normal! You could see the joy on his face that it wasn't him at fault here! Anyway, my blood tests (hormone levels) were not that good. The FSH is lower than the LH, and this could be the reason for irregular menses. Dr. Prashant asked me to do another blood test to check on the insulin level. During the ultrasound this time, he said I had already ovulated! (You can see the ruptured follicle in the ovary.) It was early this month. He sounded really surprised.



Google again - found out that lower FSH could be an indication of PCOS (Polysistic Ovary Syndrome). I didn't think I had a very bad case of PCOS but the hormones were definitely affected. Most websites suggest Clomid as the treatment. However, Clomid cannot be taken for more than 6 cycles.



From thoughts of IVF to Clomid tablets - I think I can survive this!



During my next visit to Dr Prashant last week, he started me on Clomid, Day 5 to Day 9. (I went to him a little late, he normally prefers Day 2 - 6 cycle.) I've completed my 5 day course, and am scheduled for an Ultrasound tomorrow to see if Clomid does have effect on me. Positive effect, that is......



Am keeping fingers crossed that it works for me. Else, I wouldn't know what to do.......